15 August 2005

Some crises. Kind of. Concerns.

1. Time. When can I clean? Wash clothes? The kitchen floor needs doing. Washing up needs doing. But work stuff needs doing.
2. Sleep. Will I get enough?
3. Can I discipline myself?
4. Will I sit on my backside all day, put on weight and get unhealthy?
5. How am I going to meet people? Specifically, pretty people? Not a huge issue (I'll come to that) but it might be.

I'm sure I'll work these out. If you're starting up and are having, or have had, similar concerns, it would be nice to hear from you (comment below).

But other than that week two - do some day-dreaming about where I'll be in five years - is going OK. Except for aspirational magazines.

Now, I'm not a prude. I like to think I'm reasonably enlightened. I have no problem with the female form; I think, in general, it's rather a nice thing. But why on earth is GQ filled with semi-naked ladies? I bought a copy and decided that I would look for aspirational things (there are some lovely suits in there, and some gadgets) at lunch time. So I sat on the balcony at work. And my boss came and sat next to me.

So I flick through the pages aspiring away... and find every other page has lady-bumps on it. Don't get me wrong; there are worse things to be faced with, but I'm not exactly aspiring to have my own. And I'm not sure my boss appreciated me sitting there aspiring next to her... I need man magazines which don't have "lady jumper lumps" all over them.

Homes and Gardens tomorrow, I think.

As for what I aspire to...

In five years' time, when I'm mere months from 32, I'd like to own my own house. It'll have a double garage with an inspection pit on one side, and sitting in it will be an MGB and something else - maybe a half finished Caterham. On the drive will be a sensible dull car like a fiesta. I'll also have my own office in the house, filled with computer stuff - a nice big PC, a Mac, and a laptop, and I'll have lots of lovely gadgety things. I'm going to have a leather sofa in my office and massive bookshelves which are overflowing.

My bathroom's going to be one of those wet-room jobbies with an open-plan shower thing. Nice airy bedroom. At least one moggy - probably still be Teabag, although let's hope he's calmed down a bit.

I'll be working for myself and thinking about taking on an associate because I'll be at the point where I'm turning down work because I don't have time.

I'll be planning my Autumn holiday to Canada.

I'll have a nice wine-rack too.

Now, notice that throughout that I was waxing lyrical about the leather sofa, the holiday, the moggy - but never once mentioned a significant other. Which is odd. I just can't see anyone else there at the moment. I know I'm not going to be single forever, but I can't see when I'll meet someone - and why I'd be that bothered, either.

It's just a little odd. For the past eighteen months or more I've been worried about being single while all my friends seem to be paired up but getting involved in this - working on something and aiming for it - has taken that away somewhat. Maybe there is a hole in my life. But I don't think it's woman shaped. It's leather sofa shaped.

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